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sometimes it's so crazy that nothing can save me. [entries|friends|calendar]
murderxscene.

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[Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
@ 6:00pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

im sorry.
im so sorry.
i dont really hate any of you. i really dont.
and if i feel left out...its really my fault, because i quit even making an effort to talk to anyone anymore, because with most of you i dnt have much in common with you anymore...because like i dont know, erica and sonja and alison, you all listen to different music now than me and you all like different guys and different stuff and i just dont know what to talk about with you all anymore. the only people i talk to anymore are ada and jen, because i do have a lot in common with them and i always have something to talk about with them.
just...like, ignore the last entry or something.
im sorry and i dont hate any of you.

3 make me sick you make me so sick

[Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
@ 8:30pm]
So.
I really really hate my brother right now.
Honestly, he’s such a little fucking jerk and he’s soo mean to me.
I can’t stand it anymore. Every chance he gets, he tells me how ugly and fat and “gay” I am. And whenever I yell at him for saying all that stuff, he just pulls my hair or hits me or kicks me. And recently he’s started grabbing my arm and just digging his fingernails into it, it hurts so badly. I have marks all over both of my arms from him doing that.
Mmmhmm.
Tomorrow is hopefully gunna be a fun day – Ashley’s coming over really early tomorrow morning, and we’re gunna watch that Green Day Driven thing on vh1. Then the two of us and Jacob are gunna go see War of the Worlds tomorrow night.

Sometimes I hate myself.
Like today, I’ve been thinking a lot.
And I realize, I try much too hard to get people to like me, both in “real life” and online. Like, all I want is to have lots of friends and for everyone I love to love me back.
Hah.
What a fucking joke.

I get my feelings hurt way too easily.
And I’m so jealous of like, what Alison and Sonja have, or what Alison and Erica have. Cuz they know that they can always talk to each other about anything.
I used to be able to talk to Alison about anything, but I definitely can’t anymore.
We just don’t have like…a connection anymore, I guess.
Same with Sonja.
And I get soo annoyed in the GDA chats sometimes, because it seems like everyone in there is ignoring me, except for Ada and Jen.
Oh, and I’m jealous of Tori too, I know none of you knew that…
Just cause like, everyone loves her, and it really hurts my feelings I guess that Sonja and Erica talk to her more than they talk to me now.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Tori, I really do, just…I dunno.
Whatever.
It’s not like any of you will understand anyway.
I’m pathetic.
7 make me sick you make me so sick

[Monday, June 27th, 2005
@ 4:48pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

kay so.
im kind of miserable.
pfft.
i have good reason to be tho.
there's no electricity at my house and im staying with my step-granma.
i haven't talked to jacob in awhile.
jess got hit by a car in nashville, but she's okay now.
apparently anna hates me.
buuuut.
23 DAYS TIL WARPED TOUR!
omgsh im so fucking excited to see mcr again.
and there's some other good bands too.
48 days til the green day concert!
general admission, woop.
urrrgh but im kind of mad i wasted like 100 minutes on my cell phone talking to joe and jen.
iiick.
i have really really bad sunburn, its so awful, it fucking HURTS.
AND it looks soo horrible.

4 make me sick you make me so sick

whoa. [Saturday, June 11th, 2005
@ 3:06am]
okay me and jacob are having a kind of strange conversation on myspace right now...haha. eh, oh yeah, you have to start reading from the bottom and scroll up, cause myspace is strange.




well that would depend on if you wanted to...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jacob
Date: Jun 11, 2005 2:46 AM

what about me?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: fade to black
Date: Jun 11, 2005 3:45 AM

haha yeah really...i know most of them from this message board thing im on.
and i wouldnt really want to kiss jack..ew haha.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jacob
Date: Jun 11, 2005 2:43 AM

really? i dont have any friends i dont know besides this guy named tyler who randomly added me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: fade to black
Date: Jun 11, 2005 3:39 AM

haha.
i dont know...
i only have 2 guys i actually know on my friends list, you and jack, haha.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jacob
Date: Jun 11, 2005 2:35 AM

i guess anyone willing. how about you?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: fade to black
Date: Jun 11, 2005 3:27 AM

haha.
ill only tell you if you tell me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jacob
Date: Jun 11, 2005 2:24 AM

Who do YOU like that you want to be kissed by?
i guess it'd have be someone from my friend list, and not any of the guys or nicole.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: fade to black
Date: Jun 11, 2005 3:16 AM

haha, who do you like that you want to be kissed by? lol.

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Jacob
Date: Jun 11, 2005 1:54 AM

whoever ruins this will be single and your boobs/penis will shrink for the next 4 years

...national MAKE OUT DAY and NIGHT this Friday and if you repost this as a bulletin in the the next 5 minutes, you will be kissed by someone who really likes you and who you really like on Friday!
2 make me sick you make me so sick

i'm starting fresh. [Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
@ 12:21am]
Yep.
All previous entries have been deleted.
And a new layout.

Woo.
2 make me sick you make me so sick

chaaa [Friday, April 15th, 2005
@ 11:23pm]
[ mood | calm ]

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2 make me sick you make me so sick

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